A Viewpoint to Help Shift the ‘Victim Mindset’

This month I would like to see if we can find a new viewpoint to help us stay away from the ‘Victim Moment’, that we all suffer from, from time to time. We have all probably heard this saying “the more we appreciate, the more we will get to appreciate”. It is also probably true for “the more we complain, the more we get to complain”. It’s almost like whatever we focus our attention on, will expand for us, regardless of whether it’s good or bad. Then why not find a way for us to focus on what we desire?

Let’s see what we usually complain about:

  • My spouse is not good enough;
  • My staff or my boss is not good enough;
  • My career choice is not good enough;
  • My income is not good enough;
  • My health or look is not good enough;
  • My friends and family are not supportive enough;
  • And so on;

When we first look at these common complaints, we will tend to focus on the other party that we’re complaining about. It seems as if they are the source of the problem. If they were fixed, then we’ll be alright. 

But when we look deeper, we discover that the victim that is making the complaint is actually complaining about the universe (or their God, for whatever the victim’s religious belief is) for dealing them a bad card in life that they have to live with. 

For example, when you complain about your spouse, you are not really complaining about your spouse. You are unknowingly complaining that you have been “forced” to take a bad spouse by the universe (or your God). You are also implying that someone else in the world should be “forced” to take your bad spouse at the time of your marriage so that you could be given a better one instead☺. 

There are only two scenarios possible:

  1. Let’s assume that the Universe (or your God) is personal since you believe that you could have a better choice at the time of your marriage. By this we mean that the Universe (or your God) can have its likes or dislikes towards humans. Now if this is true, would the Universe (or your God) prefer to give better things to someone who is always complaining about the Universe’s (or God’s) decisions or someone who is always appreciating the decisions the Universe (or God) makes?  If you’re not sure about this approach, just test it among any of your friends. See what difference you get between complaining and appreciation. Which one is more likely to get you more of their help?
  2. Let’s say the Universe (or your God) is not personal. Instead, it has to be fair to everyone else like a judge in the courtroom. If this is so, then the judge can’t really alter the facts regardless of how hard you complain about your lot or how much you appreciate what you have. If the judge is doing its job without human emotion, then neither complaint nor appreciation can change your outcome, so it is therefore useless to complain as it will not change anything.

So in summary, regardless of how we may perceive the world, whether the Universe is personal or not, staying in the victim’s corner and complaining about how life has dealt you a bad hand won’t make things better. But appreciating whatever comes into our lives may actually stand a better chance to see our lives getting better.

Until next month, happy investing.



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